Skelping by
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mpoetessWesley/Doyle, Cordelia/Phantom Dennis.
I love this fic so much. It's hot, and ingenious and happy, and... yes. You need to read it.
The second thing he did, of course, after a little introspection and the realization that he could really use a stiff drink right about now, was to check the package. Well, you did, right? Hurrah, you're still somewhere doing something, existential shite aside, the next logical step is to make sure all the important bits are hanging about where they belong. Mind, such as it was, still functioning, so next down the list... Okay, maybe you didn't, but Alan Francis Doyle did. For the record, all equipment present and accounted for, and still felt vaguely human to his surreptitious fingers. Alone on a dock in the middle of the night, and he's still looking both ways to make sure nobody sees him touching himself, if anybody could see him at all. 